Let's Pretend the Words "Dad Bod" Never Happened

This is Vladimir Putin, Russia's leader and haver of a dad bod.
This photo is intended for humor alone. The joke really makes itself.
(Photo courtesy of IAgreeToSee)

As we head into the winter months, I have stopped to gaze at the changing leaves, breathe in the crisp air, and consider all of the horrifying culture trends we left behind us in the summer. One particular trend is close to my heart: body acceptance. This year has been great for the body acceptance movement, from clothing line Aerie deciding to quit airbrushing their models, to  model Ashley Graham's body-acceptance TED Talk going viral. I embrace all of these movements and encourage everybody to apply them to their own lives as they're relevant. 

But I wouldn't mind leaving the term "dad bod" in the past. 

For those not in the know, the dad bod has been described succinctly by Mackenzie Pearson: "The dad bod says, 'I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time.' It's not an overweight guy, but it isn't one with washboard abs, either."

Don't get me wrong: I think the spirit of the "dad bod" is great. Men should celebrate their bodies in whatever shape and size they come in. Bodies are wonderful, and they deserve to be treated with respect. Absolutely no argument there.

The problem is that the dad bod isn't body acceptance. The dad bod is a category of its own: a weird mixture of fetishization of the male body and female acceptance of the self. As a social construct, it's fascinating. As a movement, it's baffling. 

Many of the men who claim to have a dad bod have weighed in (pardon the pun). Take this Washington Post writer, for example, who links his dad bod to his success with women in long-term relationships. While he seems to be using the correlation for humor (in my opinion; read his linked article for your own interpretation), the idea is still present: that a man's body type exists for a woman's desire. This kind of objectification goes beyond mere preference into a strange degree of ownership, and as a reminder: having a body type for a significant other is a personal choice, but it is not the heart of body acceptance. 

Another problem with the dad bod is that it highlights an incredible double-standard of our society. 

The fact that men are being celebrated and fetishized for having average-shaped bodies while women are demonized for having average-shaped bodies is alarming. In the aisles of every grocery store are gossip magazines that tout headlines and blurry photos with horrible headlines like Ten Celebrities with Not-So-Fab Bikini Abs (I wish I was joking about that one). There's usually a token Celebrity Man thrown into the photo spread, but the word "bikini" in the headline already indicates what gender the magazine will be analyzing, and a hint: it's not usually men who wear bikinis.

Billion dollar industries are built upon making women feel like they need to do more and be more in order to be good or desirable -- men, apparently, need only to drink beer.

Luckily, the women and men who see the issue fight back with the mom bod. The mom bod is less about fetishization (it is a response to the dad bod and not a serious movement in itself) and more about drawing attention to the double standard of a society which celebrates men who eat pizza and drink beer but demand that its women stay fit and beautiful. It also celebrates the fact that the female body can literally grow humans. 

This is not about one sex's superiority; it's about equal-opportunity body acceptance.

I love beer and pizza; if I'm going to partake in those gifts from God with my male and female friends, I'm just hoping we can all like each other afterwards, despite what it does to our bodies.